Things Shaped Like A Piano

TOPAS

'm not interested in Mexican entertainment, I see little or no redeeming and very difficult I think, because I do not like to say something that is not, but these days I've been hearing from some classmates for a "singer", which currently faces a rape charge process. I am happy, not distressed me, and I go, nor do I come ...

But respect for what is now through this person. For I am convinced that in this life, the situations which we face in this one time only live like this: cause and effect test: trial and error.

and certainly ... I lived a proper case.

had almost 20 years and still "remained" virgin. The focus my teenage years in the political struggle and activism against the obscurantist PRI government and the causes and undocumented migrants in the U.S., I became an opinion leader in my school, surrounded by many friends. Operator of a collective and influential student, many friends, first love, but sex still nothing ... and boy opportunities to experience "my first" not failed me, honestly, but they did not.

One morning, after leaving a nightclub in the city famous and a bit drunk, after saying goodbye to some friends, I prepared to leave the den, no I wanted to take a taxi moment, I decided to walk, that night: the morra to which, for some time in that dive gave me wings "asshole hitting me in the end did not know then he was playing it, but I hitting, and even refused to accept the rose that with so much I decided to send him.

then I thought, fuck! And I imagined me "my first time" with it ... anyway.

wore a stretch run, but was a little tired ... so I decided to take a taxi, and was what I did, I never imagine what was going to live this night:

The driver was a young man of my age, but was accompanied by a woman who We then half his age, a brunette with long hair that looked pretty appealing.

asked if they were free, as she was by his side, and I said yes. She was only her friend who accompanied him. Ok. I got them specify the address.

During the trip, I realize that the woman was drinking and asked the driver to one or another grounder. He became.

She looked into my place and start a talk:

- where you come from?
-in a dive, you know ...
-si, and wave after that so sad?
"It's okay, you know, women ...
- is whether ... we are a bitch right? Jaja
just smiled and nodded.

Suddenly, she tells the hill, stop, I'm going to go "back" with my friends ... is very alone.

I
I did not know what to say, but for now I thought, hey! And if it happens ... no! Is an unknown ... but this "good" the brunette ... to see.

sat down beside me, with beer in hand, I invite you, drank, and now for soon we were kissing, the driver just looked and said nothing. Noticing her my excitement. He just said take us to a motel, the one outside of the city.

I "happy" finally arrived and unwillingly, the time to "lose" my virginity.

Once in the room, and beer involved, I must admit, seeing pornographic videos with the beat of high school do not really teach anything, I wanted to imitate a of those porn stars, but it is not, because I was ashamed to say that until that age still had no "experience" so she, sensing my awkwardness, I wonder:

-with you?! You walk wrong or ...
-no! All good .. . Just that ... well ... that
-wave, to see tell me daddy
-is ... ha ... (....) .... I have not even ... um ... I'm a virgin ...
!!!!????? -VIRGIN VIRGIN ARE ???!!!

And suddenly changed his attitude, I still saddened by the "confession" did not know how to react was all so sudden.

I threw to the bed, climbed on me, scratched my chest, pull my hair, at that time did not know, but became violent ... sexually abused.

She was beside himself, apparently influenced what I said all this, but in his eagerness sexually satisfied hurt me, slapping my face, but scratches on his chest and back ... and in a moment I thought that's how I wanted it to be "my first time" or this is how it should be?

hurting Up and down, not knowing where he was the sexual pleasure porn actors enjoyed so much. I just saw blood on my chest and legs, scared, surprised. There was a moment. I said enough is enough ... and ... but I said no, that would end when she decided that if it was man that I had to "hold" ... shouts, threats and curses.

I felt pain, severe pain, nausea and shame after riots with sweat and blood, but it was there on my own risk. ANYONE looking for me. I had it in my hands and I decided to go ahead with that.

Not much time passed, I took an eternity to me with the pain felt everywhere, from my genitals to my face, but among all the confusion and I did not know how to react. Each word is a threat, a joke.

Already in the morning, the driver played the horn, was there because she asked to do so ... I woke up with his hand pulling my hair, saying that having I used a condom waged a pregnancy, I was going to look for if something happened, threatened me, told me that while I slept had opened my wallet, I had my data, my address. phones, everything.

was when I woke up, still sore from all over, I saw no solo había moretes y sangre en mi pecho y espalda, si no en mi cara y en mi cuello… me sentí fatal. Que iba a decir en mi casa… como hombre, como líder de mi colectivo y con 100 oportunidades de vivir una experiencia diferente… así no quería que fuera “mi primera vez”.

 
El justificar los moretes y golpes con mi familia, fue fácil, una simpe riña, el decirle a mis amigos en otro día en el club que “me había tirado a una vieja de  treintaytantos” también fue fácil, me admiraron cada morete en el cuello. Era una especie de “atrevido”… I was going to say? ... what?

After all this and about the high school counselor professional friends, I knew that there was talk he was not my "first time" or as only one session of sex ... that he had been sexually violated. That while consensus, it was closer to a violation of a sexual encounter.

My fear and shame they decided not to go further, I just said you had the chance to think twice and did not. Are a man, but fortunately did not go to, but only this of you, appreciate it, your body, your sexuality and do not get it, if not wait for this delicate and feminine woman who is determined to take "complete" your first time. ..

And they know, there are many things of Bofo or I do not mock me, including: the death of a parent, death of a sibling the death of a friend and the rape of a person, whether man or woman either. I just know that this "artist" as any man who has raped or not, should think TWO more times before going ahead with a well morrita. But hey, is living his cause and effect: SU trial and error.

I've thought up this entry, but also the first time I make it so public .. no ... but I can tell you ... I feel a kind of "relief" as of this writing.

So men ... if we think we can go around the world abusing women or doing "what hit us the win" with them, I think sometimes we're wrong ... there are some women that when "you" just go ... they are coming ...

We
the bastards can give, but we know that life will put us a lot of evidence before moving forward or not. There was already a cause, and there was a mistake ... it is a matter of us if we learn from this, or we let ourselves go. always we will find somebody.

THANK YOU for your time and space.

Vicmanol